Back to Work

Farrah has had a quiet day. They were able to wean a little on her oscillator vent settings, and she appears less puffy. As of this morning, the culture the drew last night does not show any signs of growth. At midnight this morning, Farrah had a weight gain of over 100 grams, but they think that is due to the transfusion. The doctors don't want to see much weight gain for Farrah right now since she still has so much extra fluid on her. Farrah opened her eyes during her rounds today. Her day nurse, Karen, said that she would be happy to be another one of Farrah's primary nurses. Karen also lives in the same area of Phoenix where we live, and the two of us enjoy chatting. One of the things that helps me be comfortable with not being with Farrah all the time is the fact that she has wonderful primary nurses overseeing her care.

My case wasn't strong enough to continue my disability leave another 2 weeks, so I am headed back to work on Monday. Unfortunately, having a preemie in the NICU does not qualify a working mother for any type of leave by itself. I can't say that I am quite ready for it and have fears about how well I will be able to perform back at work. It will be hard not to call the NICU and check in on Farrah after each of her rounds. This weekend will be a time for me to get my head around it and prepare - buy some work clothes that actually fit, plan how to transport pump and keep bottles cool, come up with a schedule that allows me to get everything done that needs to get done, etc. However, I knew that I had to go back at some point and the day is here. The HR Director told me that they all understand how difficult this circumstance must be for us, and they want to be as accomodating as possible. She even said that my director would like me to be able to take unpaid leave once Farrah comes home. What a relief! We weren't sure if I would be granted any time off due to not working continuously for 12 months. There are other mothers in my company who have requested a pumping room, so they are designating one of the empty offices as the pumping room for our building.

We would appreciate prayers for strength as I prepare for the next part of our new normal. Ray and I will be seeing each other a lot less. Ray started a job at a car dealership and has been working long hours every day. It is also going to be hard to be away from Farrah for so long every day. Most likely, I will visit Farrah before or after work in the beginning, and once Farrah is able to be held again (not holding her is so hard) and can start to be bottle fed, we will work more visits into our schedules. Hopefully my work will allow me to work from home at least sometimes (like I did before). It would certainly make things a bit easier. We just keep reminding ourselves that all of this is our new normal FOR NOW. Someday soon, we will get to bring Farrah home.